


Beans and Netero get sexy together and there's no stopping them

by randylahey5446



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: FML, Gay, Going to Hell, I mean REALLY gay, LMAO, M/M, Porn With Plot, Sexy, Smut, Yaoi, absolute crack fic, beans, i want to die, issac netero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 08:54:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9227786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randylahey5446/pseuds/randylahey5446
Summary: It says it in the title, Beans/Netero paring ftw! Netero is going off to NGL for the fight of his life, while he makes one last request for Beans before taking off...





	

"Hello, Netero,"

"Beans...I'm not sure how much longer I'll be alive, come into my office,"

"Uh, yes sir," Beans said, hanging up the phone.

Things have been stressful in the Hunter's Association lately with all the NGL madness. Just when they think they got the situation under control, something else out of the blue pops out.

Including the birth of the King.

Tensions are higher than ever, for a failure of the mission to eradicate the ants could result in countless more deaths than there already were. Despite the difficulty being only a rank B, there were so many lives at risk, and so many lives that have been already taken.

Colt saying that Netero's aura couldn't compare to the new born king was a signal of Netero's demise. He knew that in order to defeat the king, he would have to got drastic measures. If he's lucky, his experience could go in Netero's favor, but his body is well past his prime. There is no way that the chairman has any chance of defeating the ant king off of raw strength alone.

So he planted a poor man's rose into his chest that would activate in the likely event that he will die.

He planned to go off to meditate to get his aura into tip-top shape for his upcoming battle in a few hours, but there was one thing that he had to do before he left.

Then a knock.

"Come in!" The old geezer squawked, happy as ever.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, I also wanted to talk to you about something, something very important," Netero started, drawing in a deep sigh before he could go on.

"You see...I'm running out of time. I'm not the young wiper-snapper I used to be, and my aura has gone kaput over the years,"

"But, you're still very powerful sir,"

"Yes, I know. But compared to who I was in my prime, I might as well have the power level of a rookie hunter exam applicant. Let's face it, against a creature like that, there is no way I could get away with winning on raw strength alone. But I still have enough power to slap that insect around, and once the bomb goes, off, BAM!" Netero exclaimed, then sharing a brief laughter with himself before getting serious again.

"I'd say there's a solid 5% chance of me coming back alive, that's alright though, it's better that I go than one of the Zodiacs. It would be tedious to replace one of them, but there are plenty of capable folk in there that could take my place. Even Partison could take my place!"

"..I'm not sure about that," Beans smiled, as Netero gave him a brief stare-down, before staring out the window.

"Well, if I haven't been clear about this already, I'm going to die soon. Yet there are things that I have never experienced, well one thing at least,"

"What is it sir?"

"Something that I have always thought about since I was a young boy, and wanted to do since I was a young man," Netero stopped himself and turned around to face Beans.

"Homosexual intercourse,"

"...what?"

"Bitch, you heard me," Netero snapped, with a straight face.

"Beans, you're a sexy-ass beast, did you know that?"

"...uh, no,"

"Have you ever gotten laid before?"

"No,"

"Bullshit!" Netero yelled. "With sexy-bod like that, I know you're lying! Those sexy love handles are perfect for grinding on and for holding on to for sucking dick, right?!"

"Yeah, but-"

"Exactly! You fucked mad bitches in your day and now, you're going to fuck me you hunky soy bean!" Netero proclaimed being ass naked in front of Beans.

"Beans, jerk me off you fucking whore,"

"I can't,"

"Why not?"

Beans then became ass naked himself in the blink of an eye.

"Jerk _me_ off first, _slut!"_

"Beans, where's your dick, I don't see it,"

"Huh?"

"You're body is literally one giant, green, soy bean. Forget about your dick, where the fuck are your nipples? I have nothing to suck on while I jerk you off, this is unacceptable! I can't get turned on for someone with no dick _and_ no nipples! Like, what the fuck?!"

"You don't like what you see?"

"No, it's fucking disgusting. Sure, you have some nice balls, but what's the point if you don't even have a dick to come with it!...disgusting,"

"Would you like to see my true form then?"

"...true form?"

"Yes, a true form. I'm actually a manipulator, and I could change my appearance for very long periods of time to hide my identity. This is the form I was most attracted to, yes, I think this form is very sexually appealing. I literally jerk off in the mirror because of how sexy this looks," Beans said, striking a pose.

"But how can you jerk yourself off, if you don't have a dick?!" Netero asked.

Beans, then grew a dick using his aura (which was 12 inches long btw).

"...now, let me show you my true form," Beans said, as his whole body started to light up. As the seconds went by, his body became brighter, and brighter. The room started to heat up as a result of this to the point where it was hotter than a summer's day in the desert. Any normal human being at this point would have been blinded by the light and/or fainted from overheating.

The room must have been at least 150 degrees and rising at this point, and even Netero was starting to break a sweat. But Netero would not give in to these intense conditions, not to miss on something as important as this. It must have been many years, maybe even life times since Beans must have gone into his true form. His aura flow at that point could have easily match someone like Netero's, or even one of the top Zodiacs. Hell, Beans could even be useful in the battle against the ant-king his aura was that great.

Then, the room started to cool down as his final form has emerged. There was still too much light to see Beans's real body. Some time was needed for his aura to go back into his body and for his true form to be easily distinguishable. It was several minutes before Netero was able to see who it was. By the time his aura went back to normal, and his form was easy to see, Netero couldn't believe what he was seeing.

It was David Hasselhoff, ass naked with a raging boner pointing strait at Netero.

Netero then started to jerk off David Hasselhoff and finger his asshole while sucking his nips.

But they both jazzed and had an orgasm immediately because they were too sexy for each other.

They cuddled for the rest off the night, until Netero went off to meditate.

"Babe, where are you going?"

"...I have to go now,"

"Babe, don't go,"

"I have to, I can't stay here," Netero said, holding on to David Hasselhoff's big, meaty hands. "Before I leave, can I see your Beans form one more time,"

"Sure boo-bear," Hasselhoff said, changing into Beans in a blink of an eye.

"Beans...thank you for service,"

"And thank you, for your guidance," Beans said, as the two start to make out passionately.

Partison walked in on them and had a nervous breakdown, then had a severe epilepsy that almost turned him into a veggie.

Almost.


End file.
